A soul searching, life changing journey

When you start this journey you are thrown into the 'deep end', and long before you have surfaced, before you have oriented, before you have even realised what is going on, those around you, the ‘professionals’ are calmly walking on, running even, full steam ahead.

For them, well versed, and well practice at these occasions, they know exactly what is happening and what needs to be done.

Meanwhile, mid heart attack, filled with worry and fear, and still confused about what is going on around you in this new environment, parents, grandparents, and friends are lost in the safeguarding wilderness.

Accronyms, meetings, professionals and a landslide of information hits parents when they have little scope of experience, little actual understanding of the significance of these meetings, the paper work being thrust at them, or their rights and responsibilities.

Even more disorienting, is that this occasion tends to arises during the most stressful of situations. Children and family services rarely become involved on a good day in a family's life. Hence, fight and flight responses are already at their peak, and families will be trying to handle a very difficult situation, when suddenly, help is at hand and it can feel very unhelpful indeed.

Suddenly, just as too many cooks can spoil the soup, a families life is taken over with an entire meeting room of individuals, who even more confusingly may not all be singing from the same hymn sheet. 

Through this process, parents are told they have PR (parental rights and responsibilities), but what does that actually mean? It can feel more like an accusation that a right, at times.

When asked what a meeting is for, I was once told repeatedly, "It is statutory". Statutory is not an explanation. Not to a terrified parent. It meant nothing to me beyond it had to happen and it was regulated.

But what was the meeting about? What was I meant to ask, say, do, what could I hope for, and what might happen? What was the meeting actually about? I was told again, it is statutory. – Well, thanks but that explains nothing.

The child, rightfully so, is the very epicentre of everyone’s focus. However, children need their parents, they need their families. The right to family life is so important it is recognised by international law. But the only way to reunify or keep families together when life gets tough is to remember that parents need support too.

Parents need to understand the way the child protection system works, and what to expect. They need to have an understanding of what their rights and responsibilities are and what they can expect from everyone involved.

At every stage, I was so desperate for a map, a guide to help me navigate from beginning to end. Of course, there is no guarantees, and everyone’s case is different; nonetheless, information is empowering. Hence, this blog has been started.

My goals with this site are:

• To create a list of resources, advice, and support links specific to Scotland, because there is very little Scottish safeguarding advice available.
• Through sharing my own experiences, I hope to encourage and support parents to navigate the child protection process, and enable them to do their best for their children.
• To encourage and promote parents and social work to work together within the rules (rules were established not just to protect parents and children, but to protect social workers, as well) to keep everyone safe. And to emphasis the importance of empathy and humanity in social work.
• To promote advocacy for families and children who are more than just eligible services users, who need more clarity, to have their voices heard and to seek better working relationships between LAs and families.

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”
― Mahatma Gandhi